Movie review: Rocky II (1979) & Rocky III (1982)

Rocky II (1979)

Look at little Rocky Jr. Gonna cry?
When the thought of reviewing the Rocky movies came to me, the only thing I was anticipating was 'how quickly will they Flanderize him?' The answer is at the first possible opportunity. Rocky is very talkative in Rocky II and it's this movie that really coins such a thing as Rockyisms.

There are a lot of things here which I mistakenly remembered as being from the first movie. Like the chasing chickens scene, the black and gold motif, and Rocky running up the steps with the whole squad behind him. That last one was actually supposed to be how it happened in the first movie but presumably the shoestring budget pared things back. This is also the one where we get tiger coat origin story. It's easy for the first two Rocky movies to blend into each other because the second one still maintains the snappy pacing, at least from an information standpoint. A modern or lesser screenwriter would have been tempted to make Rocky and Adrian's wedding the coda to the film, here it's one of many scenes in the opening to get us up to speed on where the characters are, what's changed since the first movie, and what the central conflict is going to be.

The working title was 'Rocky II: Redemption' but sequel is mainly known for being a Rehash. Deservedly so because it mostly replays the first movie. Rocky's poor literacy gets a rerun, as does the poverty. Rocky has become wagie, although he's promptly fired by his black foreman because the meat factory has to cut back on manpower. Please don't shoot the messenger but the Rocky movies are about race. The script explicitly says "nearly all the workers in the background hauling meat are black". The black workers aren't laid off. Rocky is. The world has gone downside up. We even get more traditionalist catnip for conservative-types as Rocky tells Adrian "I never asked you to stop being a woman, you know? So please, I'm asking you, please, don't ask me to stop being a man." Somehow it never dawns on Rocky that asking his wife to stop nagging him is asking her to stop being a woman, amirite fellas!?

Meanwhile, Apollo Creed is miffed to have been taken the distance by a club fighter. In some sense this movie is almost his story because he's the only whose character has changed since the previous ones. Humiliated and mocked for eeking out a judges' decision, Apollo nurses his wounder pride by loudly and confidently vowing to "meet and defeat" Rocky within 5 minutes if they fight again. You're supposed to root for the protagonist to defeat the antagonist, so the in-universe champ has to have a big mouth that you want to see get shut up. He doesn't even get a soundtrack to score his training montage, just ominous chants of "Apollo! Apollo!".

Apollo Creed is who they wished Muhammad Ali would be. All the comedic flair and charm, but none of the grievances. He's a flag-waving jingoist and a respectable, intelligent businessman. For many people Apollo Creed is, to put it one way, "the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy". And at the end of the movie, he has the decency to Do The Right Thing and lose. Adrian embraces norms too as her character in this movie can be boiled down to one word - pregnant.

Rocky II is the movie for people who wanted the White Hope to win. Actually, all of the Rocky movies are, but this is the first one to give the people what they want. There's no music drowning out the ring announcer at the end of this picture. It's as clear as day – Rocky Balboa is the first white heavyweight champion since Rocky Marciano. This the moment when the series officially veers into the fantasy realm. As Muhammad Ali put it at the time: “For the black man to come out superior would be against America’s teachings. I have been so great in boxing they had to create an image like Rocky, a white image on the screen, to counteract my image in the ring. America has to have its white images, no matter where it gets them. Jesus, Wonder Woman, Tarzan and Rocky.” (Internet misinformation would have you believe that Rocky's battle with ill literacy features The Deputy Sheriff of Comanche County by Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs - but the actual book he reads is Zane Grey's 1930 western Robbers' Roost).

A few moments before the Creed-Balboa rematch a sportcaster tells the world "Why this fighter of limited ability has gained such popularity is such a mystery." Now, Louis-Galento was before Stallone's time, but it's not a mystery why Rocky Balboa was a success. He's the underdog. He's a sympathetic character. He's a victim. The scene where the uncaring bank is gunning for Rocky's nice new house because of late payments didn't make the final cut, but life wasn't all peaches and cream for Sly either.

He’d go to parties, and as he walked in, a familiar buzz would go through the room. He’d see people looking at him, then whispering to their partners. After a time, he knew what they were whispering. He couldn’t take it. He’d bark: “That’s right. I’m not as tall as you thought, right? Okay. Now let’s move on, cut the chatter and enjoy this party.” Poor Sylvester.
The Trouble with Sylvester Stallone - Rolling Stone (July 8th, 1982)

Watching Rocky II made it clearer why all the celebrity moments in Creed felt off. This movie has a cameo by undisputed lightweight champion of the world, manos de piedra himself, el gran campeón panameño y leyenda del boxeo, Robertoooooooo Duran! Judging by the YouTube comments, I'm not the only one who missed this. You wouldn't expect that the on-screen heavyweight contender is the same size as manlets like Tom Cruise, Floyd Mayweather, and Canadian Tommy Burns but he is.

Stallone would eventually resort to wearing lifts but I can't make a dig about this movie needing more than elevator shoes to succeed. It did succeed (from a financial perspective). But artistically? The wheels are already rattled worse than Rocky Balboa's motor neurons. With John G. Avildsen out, Stallone himself climbed up into the big boy director's chair and editing suite, the result was a cut and paste job - minor tweaks to the soundtrack, indulging in two training montages, and the 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it' approach taken with the dialogue. Two movies in a row ending with Adrian saying she loves Rocky? It's like a child copying exam answers from the kid sitting next to them, except Stallone is sitting next to a mirror.

There probably is some way to roll all the iconic scenes in the first two Rocky movies into one seamless picture where he wins at the first time of asking. But it wouldn't make Rocky II a better movie, it would only make the first Rocky a worse one.

Final Review Scores
In a word: Morbin'
In a sentence: Repetitio mater memoriae
In a number: 3.51
In an emoji: ♻️
In a distribution method: Direct-to-bargain-bin

'Rocky II'
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, and Burgess Meredith
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Written by Sylvester Stallone
Produced by Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff
Production company: Chartoff-Winkler Productions
Runtime: 01:59:11

Rocky III (1982)

The One with Mr. T. in a Big Role.
MCMJXXXII. The year of the first Rambo movie. The second year of the Reaganomics. And the final movie of the Rocky trilogy. We're in fantasyland, Rocky Balboa is the heavyweight champion of the world. He's become a celebrity like Sylvester Stallone. And like Rocky II, it starts with recapping the end of the preceding movie, though after that things are at least somewhat new.

This entry is best remembered for 'the eye of the tiger'. Both the phrase used repeatedly throughout the movie and the song played during the opening as well as over the credits. Even as someone who isn't fond of 1980s music, this song is kickass. What does the phrase mean? Who cares? It's provocative! It gets the people going! Music is the driving force of the Rocky series. And so too is race.

Rocky and Rocky II were runaway successes, but Stallone's other films around about that time (F.I.S.T., Paradise Alley, Nighthawks, and Escape to Victory) were... less successful. Stallone knew Rocky III had to connect with audiences, and like Ronald Reagan a quick and easy way to do was to denigrate and scapegoat the other. Reagan took aim at "welfare queens", Stallone swung at black fighters.

The broader strokes of the Rocky III story are about reconciliation and friendship, with a Reaganesque optimism that believes the newly-formed alliance of a European-American being trained by an African-American fighter could be the foundation of a harmonious post-racial America. With conditions, of course (no points for guessing which way they cut). There are open arms for a Super Spade like Apollo Creed and there is open contempt for a Super-Predator like Clubber Lang. Divide and divide.

But that demarcation is undermined by the undisguised bigotry of Paulie, who does the bulk of the heavy lifting here. When first arriving in da hood (Los Angeles) he tells us "I don't like these people." and later in the gym he says that Apollo's plans for Rocky are doomed to fail because "You can't train him like a colored fighter" and "He can't train to the jungle junk music." You wouldn't think he was from the City of Brotherly Love with how much he dislikes his fellow man. Mickey gets in on the act too by responding to Clubber Lang's trash talk by telling security "Can't you get that ape back into the ring?", and an ungenerous reading would also note that the movie draws a distinction between the civilized Balboa and the implicitly uncivilized Lang.

Some people seem to think Mr. T plays the villain in this movie. Huh? Sure, he's an obstacle for the main character but that doesn't make him a bad guy. One of my favorite fighters, Sonny Liston, was once asked if there any hard feelings between him and the loudmouth challenger gunning for the title. The response from the champ? "It would be just like a guy coming in to stick you up. There's no hard feeling between you, but you got something he wants." The challenger is supposed to want what the champion has.

And the movie tells you that it's Team Rocky who cheated Clubber Lang out of a legitimate title shot and chose to fight bums instead. It's not like Rocky even earned his shot in the first place. And Lang, though short-tempered and aggrieved, is justifiably aggrieved. Wouldn't you react angrily if before your shot at the title your dressing room was full of press rubes who say things like "Clubber, dance for us"? As others have pointed out, even the idea that Clubber Lang is responsible for Mickey's death is misguided. It was Rocky that insisted Mickey work this fight. And, for whatever reason, they don't rush the old man clutching his chest to a hospital at the first possible opportunity. But Clubber Lang is somehow to blame for not reacting graciously to being called an ape by the people who wronged him.

In the end, the movie dangles a lot of racial politics and doesn't say racism is wrong. It's a free country, why should it? Paulie is just Paulie. You'd think that Rocky winning with the help of Apollo Creed was the lasting message but it isn't. Earlier in the movie, when complaining about how Rocky was being trained, Paulie said that "[Rocky]'s a bruiser. He ain't no boxer." That's how he fights and that's how he wins fight. All that stuff about learning to move and using rhythm? Ishkabibble. Rocky goes toe-to-toe with Clubber Lang and demands to be hit to prove he can take his best punches; less rope-a-dope, more school-a-fool. Clubber Lang is defeated. Paulie's outlook is vindicated. The White Man Marches On.

If you can look past that ugly side of it then there's something to hand to Rocky III, at least it's doing some new things. People are a bit down on the third and fourth Rocky movies because of how cartoonish they are (Hulk Hogan is in this one tbf), it's got the feel of Saturday morning cartoon at times but with that comes a lot of fun and quotable dialogue. Rocky III predates the A-Team, Mr. T's iconic 'I pity the fool' and his sneering 'hey woman/hey boy' wouldn't have become known worldwide if not for this movie. And after two movies of being known only as Apollo's Trainer, Tony Burton's character is finally christened with a name - Duke.

The sound effects during the fight against Mr. T are updated to sound comically over-the-top, which fits with the absurd fights. I'm not sure there's anything tiger-esque about the finale as they just absorb hellacious punishment without flinching but I don't think Eye of the Hippo would've worked as well. But that isn't the ending, Clubber Lang was a side-quest. The real ending is that Rocky and Apollo have one last fight to settle the score and it's a nice cliffhanger to end on. Two men, no referee, no doctors, no crowd, just good old-fashioned fighting and the most famous Leroy Neiman painting to finish things up. It was kind of cheap when Creed revealed Apollo won that fight, like they couldn't leave well enough alone. I'm sure it's the same feeling some people had when they found out there would be a Rocky IV one day.

Final Review Scores
In a word: Scurred
In a sentence: Made to sell action figures.
In a number: 6.19
In an emoji: 👻
In a Larry Holmes challenger: "Irish" Gerry Cooney

'Rocky III'
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith, Mr. T, and Tony Burton
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Written by Sylvester Stallone
Produced by Irwin Winkler and Robert Chartoff
Production company: Chartoff-Winkler Productions
Runtime: 01:39:38